ONLY DON’T KNOW
SELECTED TEACHING LETTERS OF ZEN MASTER SEUNG SAHN
*** Letter to Seung Sahn (grey)
*** Reply from Seung Dahn (blue)
* Remarks (green)
THIS IS AN ACUPUNCTURE BOOK. Likely any great medical text, it contains selected “case” where someone presents to a great doctor a discomfort, a situation of malaise. The exact contours of the discomfort may or not be exactly clear to the sufferer, their family or friends, but they feel hindered, confined, a little choked. They do not understand their nature. And that is all that is necessary. The swelling unwellness is affecting others.
And so naturally they explain. The patient may come up with their own ideas about the disequilibrium, but the doctor regards their self-analysis only lightly, if at all.
The great doctor merely takes it all in --- listen, senses, watches, waits, perceives --- bringing no previous judgment of the situation to the situation. The words are, to him, only partially instructive. Rather he sits there in the flow of explanation. --- blank-faced, unmoving, empty as an old black stone --- observing the flickering invisible signs of something deeper flash across the different regions of the student’s face while the explanation proceeds. Subtle patches of heat moving from here to there, an evanescent reddening. The tensing come-and-go of facial muscles just below the surface. Dryness in the eyebrows. A coating on the tongue. The patient is still talking, but the words do not move the doctor: Like a cat hunched in front of mouse hole, he is utterly focused on things more or less invisible to you or me: the furtive scratches behind the wall, the manic breathing, a tiny bodily shift which reveals true location, true intent.
And then he springs.
It is all done without expensive tool and gadgets. There are no theories or technologies or therapeutic processes at work here. It requires not bookish knowledge as much as one vital thing: a profound, unshakeable grasp of this moment. Which is pure enlightenment. Only don’t know.
This text is unique collection of teachings by one of the greatest meditation master of our time. Zen Master Seung Sahn is perhaps the most skilled, spontaneous practitioner of mind-acupuncture you will ever meet. And in this selection of his teaching letters we can witness his extraordinary mind-acupuncture operating in full effect. In many signification ways departs from the usual correspondence collections. Standard, classic translation of the correspondence of great meditation masters seldom, if ever, present the student’s inquiring letter right alongside the teacher’s teaching. It is customary to a present a great master’s teaching on its own, as a thing in itself, without reference to what inspired it --- the student’s complaint of some block in their practice --- as if the teaching resulted out of empty space. The collection which you now hold presents, for the first time, the sickness so that we may better understand and learn from its cure.
In the Zen centers under his guidance throughout the world, letters such as these are read aloud every day at the conclusion of morning and evening practice. One student’s letter, and the Zen master’s response. Hearing these letters read aloud every day as a young student at the Cambridge Zen Center, you were treated to a varied, unpredictable exchange. First you heard the student’s letter. Often some response would occur to you, what you would reply to a particular point in the letter: instantly, strapped into the junior Zen master seat, your little teaching idea appeared. Then the response was read. And I remember how, time and time again, I was startled --- stunned, shocked --- at the patient skill and absolute certainly with which Zen Master Seung Sahn delivered the goods. He didn’t address matters that I would have addressed, and instead delivered some teaching to an area that may not have seemed so important. He would say things a different way. Or else he put the fine needle of his enlightened view straight into the forehead of the matter, at times so directly that you could often see other people in the Dharma room wincing as particularly strong and direct teachings were administered. But by the end of the letter, after several of these deft moves, you learned the point of it all. His expedient means had also penetrated you, because you had also written that student’s letter, or something in it: we’ve written that student’s letters all the time. His teaching to them cured something in you. Like an acupuncturist who may place needle in your head to relieve that pain in your lower back, his teaching somehow unlocked meridians of energy in both recipients and listens ( and hopefully now, reader) in very unexpected ways. Recently someone suggested to Zen Master Seung Sahn that they would someday like to publish a much larger collection of his letters to students without the student’s letters. And he refused, saying, “Only show the medicine, not the sickness? That’s not correct. These student’s letters also teach people, not only my speech.”
These letters are drawn from a very large collection. In his more than twenty-five years of tireless work teaching throughout the West, Zen Master Seung Sahn has always personally responded to every single letter written to him. It ha amounted to thousands of letters and cards in English, all with his characteristic ”Yours in the Dharma, S.S.” tag on the end. (And this does not include the prolific teaching-correspondence he has carried on with his native Koreans since attainting enlightenment and receiving transmission fifty years ago, or with his many Chinese-speaking students, who he teaches through Chinese character and English.) As you can tell from the letters, this wandering teacher was often followed through the mail by bundles of correspondence sent by the secretary at the last temple, all of it trying to catch up with him as he disappears ascending in a tail of jet exhaust to the next retreat or Dharma talk. To publish all of his collected letters written in English alone would require a set of volumes comprising some seventy to eighty book this size. A body of correspondence that large, for a Zen master, is fairly staggering. A student once asked him why he, a Zen master, would give so much energy to correspondence. His answer typified the work he does: “Someone has suffering in their mind. Then I too much around-around travel, so they cannot find me. They write down, send to me. How can I not give teaching medicine to them?” So while this collection makes some attempt to represent the nature of what he calls his “letter-teaching,” there are many, many fascinating letters that must remain unpublished for the time being.
This is greatly revised version of an edition first published by the Four Seasons Foundation in 1982, and, later Primary Point Press. That text has been thoroughly reedited, and new letters have been added. Readers familiar with that version will also notice a new division of letters devoted to monastic practice. Zen Master Seung Sahn has labored hard to establish in the West n authentic traditional celibate monastic sangha alongside a vibrant, fully empowered lay sangha. It is one of his happiest accomplishments. While lay practice in the West is just celebrated, and its issues address in myriad forums, scant attention is paid to the matter of Westerners choosing celibate monastic life. As of this writing, there are some fifty Western monks and nuns practicing under his direction, and the number increase every year. In none of his books to date has there been material specifically devoted to monastic life and training. This section should begin to fill that gap.
In their teaching capacities, George Bowman, Barbara Rhodes, and Linc Rhodes oversaw the effort to assemble material for the first edition. The effort was coordinated by Louise Brown with the assistance of Stanley Lombardo, and benefited greatly from the careful editing work of Jacob Perl, Merrie Fraser, and Sherry and Lawlor Rochester. Becky Berman, Judy Roitman, Carole Korseniowsky, Suzanne Bowman, Katrina Avery, Marcia Peters, and Gillian Harrison also provide help along the way with further editing, copy work, proofing, and typing. Thank you very much to all of them.
The revised edition benefited from the assistance of J.W. Harrington, Ven. Do Mun Sunim, Ven. Mu Shim Sunim, Ven. Mu Sang Sunim, Ven. Myong Haeng Sunim, Ven. Myong Oh Sunim, Miss Huh Mun-Myung of Seoul, and Miss Kim Yong-Hyon of Seoul. As always, I would like to celebrate the compassion, creativity, insight, and solid professionalism of Dave O’Neal, our editor at Shambhala.
HYON GAK SUNIM (VEN.)
SEOUL INTERNATIONAL ZEN CENTER
HWA GYE SAH (FLOWER STREAM TEMPLE)
Sam Gak Mountain
Seoul, Korea
CORRECT MEDITATION
Berkeley, California
July 9, 1977
Dearest Seon Sa Nim,
Diana just called to tell me of your heart and diabetes problem.* I am so sorry you don’t feel well. I am remembering what a shock it was when we first found out that my son had diabetes and would need to take insulin. He was only seventeen, and his pancreas worked irregularly, so the adjustment of his insulin dosage was dependent on his activity as well as on his food. But he soon learned to anticipate his need and learned to drink orange juice when he overestimated. I am sure that by now you also have adjusted to your new treatment.
I was sorry to miss the last Big Kido. Get well soon!
Love you,
Marge
July 15,1977
Dear Marge,
Thank you for your letter. How are you?
I have just returned from the hospital. You worry about my body; thank you. Now I am following the hospital’s instructions, and I am just beginning to take insulin. I had taken diabetes pill for fifteen years, but the doctor said that these pill damaged my heart, so I went to the hospital, took some heart medicine, and now my heart is working correctly, so my body is no problem.
When I was in the hospital, many of the doctors there were interested in certain meditation techniques that help the body to heal. My doctors suggested that I try this kind of meditation of meditation so that my heart would get better quickly, so I did. When I first went to the hospital my heart was not beating in regular way. This problem usually takes two or three months to fix. But I meditated, so it only took one week to fix, and the doctors were very surprised and happy. They said that now many doctors like meditation because it can help to fix your body. Several doctors wanted to learn more about meditation, so they arranged to come to my hospital room and I taught them little about Zen.
I told them “fixing-your-body” meditation is a kind of concentration. It is not bad and not good. But it is not correct meditation. This kind of yoga meditation lets your body rest and become strong. Some yogis only sit in a quiet place, breathing in and breathing out, and sometimes they live for one hundred years or thousand years. It is possible to keep your body this long, but eventually it will die.
Correct meditation means attaining freedom from life and death. True, our bodies have life and death, but our true self has no life and no death. I said that if you attain your true self, then if you die in one hour, in one day, or in one month, it is no problem. If you only do “fixing-your-body” meditation, you will mostly be concerned with your body. But some day, when it’s time for your body to die, this meditation will not help, so you will not believe in it. This means it is not correct meditation. If you do correct meditation, being sick sometimes is OK; suffering sometimes is OK; dying someday is OK. The Buddha said, “If you keep a clear mind moment to moment, then you will get happiness everywhere.”
How much do you believe in yourself? How much do you help other people? These are most important questions. Correct meditation helps you find true way.
I told them that I had asked the man in the bed next to me, “What is the purpose of your life?” he had a good job, a good family, a good wife, but these things could not help him. So he said, “Nothing.” He understood “nothing,” but this understanding could not help him, and therefore he was suffering. Zen means attaining this nothing-mind.
How do you attain nothing-mind? First you must ask, “What am I? What is the purpose of my life?” If you answer with words, this is only thinking. Maybe you say, “I am a doctor.” But if you are with a patient and you are thinking, “I am a great doctor,” you cannot perceive your patient’s situation --- you are caught in your thinking. Thinking is only understanding; like the man in the hospital, you will find that understanding cannot help you. Then what? If you don’t know, you must only go straight ---- don’t know.
Don’t-know mind cut through thinking. It is before thinking. Before thinking there is no doctor, no patient; also no God, no Buddha, no “I,” no words --- nothing at all. Then you and the universe become one. We call this nothing-mind, or primary point. Some people say this is God, or universal energy, or bliss, or extinction. But these are only teaching words. Nothing-mind is before words.
Zen is attaining nothing-mind, and using nothing-mind. How can you use it? Make nothing-mind into big-love-mind. Nothing means no I-my-me, no hindrance, so this mind can change to action-for-all-people mind. This is possible. Nothing-mind neither appears nor disappears. It you do correct meditation, nothing-mind becomes strong and you perceive your situation clearly: what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch are the truth, without thinking. So your mind is like a mirror. Then moment to moment you can keep your correct situation. When a doctor is with his patients, if he drops I-my-me and becomes one with them, then helping them is possible. When a doctor goes home and he is with his family, if he keeps his father’s mind 100 percent, then understanding what is best for them is clear. Just like this. The blue mountain does not move. The white clouds float back and forth.
So, the doctors liked Zen. Maybe they will try practicing!
I hope you only go straight --- don’t know, attain nothing-mind, use nothing mind, and save all beings from suffering.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
****************************************
LETTERS FROM JAIL
Atlanta, Georgia
June 8, 1978
Dear Sir:
One of your students suggested that I write directly to you and that you would be kind enough to offer some advice.
I am incarcerated at Atlanta Penitentiary and would like to have a suggestion on how to practice Zen while I am in prison.
I have already read many books on Zen, including the essays by D. T. Suzuki.
Sometimes when I feel as thought I have achieved satori, I seem to lose it and fall back to my old self again. Why am I unable to maintain my gains in the area of Zen?
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Robert
June 20, 1978
Dear Robert,
Thank you for your letter. How are you? It is wonderful that you wrote to me directly.
In you letter you said you are in jail. That is a wonderful Zen center! I also have been in jail.* Maybe that jail made me become a Zen master. Perhaps jail will also make you become a Zen master!
You said you have read many books on Zen. That is not good, not bad. If your direction is clear, then all Zen books, the Bible, and all the sutras will help you find your true way. But if you have no direction and you read many book about Zen then your mind will be filled with thinking. Thinking is desire, and desire is suffering. So this thinking and understanding cannot help you.
What is your correct direction? Do you have one? You must show me! If you don’t understand, throw away all your books! I ask you, what are you? When you were born, where did you come from? When you die, where will you go? What is your name? How old are you? These are all simple questions. Maybe you say, “My name is Robert.” That is your body’s name. What is your true self’s name? Perhaps you say, “I am thirty-five years old.” But that is your body’s age. What is your true age? Tell me, tell me! If you don’t understand, only go straight --- don’t know. Don’t check your feelings; don’t check your mind; don’t check your understanding.
Next, you sometimes feel that you have experienced satori. This is feeling satori; when this feeling disappears, satori disappears, so it is not correct satori. True satori is unmoving, unchanging; it has no feeling, no thought. It is no-satori. The Heart Sutra say, “No attainment, with nothing to attain.” You must attain that.
I often talk about primary point. What is primary point? Imagine a simple scale. When there is nothing on it, the indicator point to zero. When you put something on the scale, the pointer swings to read the weight. When you remove the weight, the pointer returns to zero. This zero-point is primary point. After you find your primary point, then good feelings may come or bad feelings may come, so your pointer swings in one direction or the other, but this doesn’t matter. When the feeling is over, the pointer will swing back to zero.
But if haven’t found your primary point, then it is like taking a heavy object off the scale with the pointer still indicating ten pounds, or only returning part of the way back towards zero. Then you have a problem. Your scale does not weigh accurately. If you put another heavy object on it, it might break completely.
So first you must find your primary point. Then you must keep it strong. A taxi has weak shock absorbers, so it bounces up and down when it hits a small bump/ a train has strong shock absorbers, so it is very steady, no matter what. If you keep your primary point, your mind-spring will become stronger and stronger. A big problem will come and your mind will move, but it will soon return to primary point. Finally your mind will be very strong, and it will be able to carry any load. Then saving all being from suffering is possible.
Zen is not special. If you make something, if you make “special,” then you have something: you have “special.” But this something, this “special” cannot help you. Put it all down. What are you doing right now? When you are doing something, you must do it. Most people only half-experience things, because their mind is carrying the weight of some previous experience, thought, or feeling. So they cannot connect with other people and this world. But when you put it all down and just do it, from moment to moment, then you are already complete. Then you will find your primary point. Then you will understand your correct situation and your correct job. To do this must only go straight --- don’t know it doesn’t matter if you are in jail or out of jail; already you will have freedom from life and death.
Here is a kong-an for your homework:
HYANG EOM’S “UP A TREE”
Master Hyang Eom said, “It is like a man up a tree who is hanging from a branch by his teeth. His hand cannot grasp a bough, his feet cannot tough the tree; he is tied and bound. Another man under the tree asked him, ‘Why did Bodhidharma come to China?’ If he does not answer, he evades his duty and he will be killed. If he answers, he will lose his life. If you are in the tree, now how do you stay alive?”
I hope you only go straight --- don’t know, soon find your primary point, finish your homework, and save all being from suffering.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
* Seung Sahn Seon Sa’s prison experience is recounted in Dropping Ashes on the Buddha.
Atlanta, Georgia
June 8, 1978
Zen Master Seung Sahn,
Thank you so much for your letter. It was very nice to hear from you and to receive your advice.
I am most puzzled by your statements regarding satori. Isn’t it true the goal of Zen is to achieve satori, a state of intuitive awareness? You say that true satori “is unmoving, is unchanging; it has no feeling, no thought.” These are all negative expressions of satori. What is it in the positive sense? Is it not a state of total happiness, a whole and complete mind?
You say there is nothing to attain. Please explain this to me in terms of satori. How do I reach state of satori? How will I know when I am in a state of satori?
I am awaiting your response. I am sure that you are very busy, but I wonder if you are could make recommendations on how I can advance my Zen training while I am yet in prison?
There is great deal of noise in prison and I am having difficulty connecting while sitting in my cell. Furthermore, I am not sure of hat I should be doing while concentrating during the time I sit Zen. Can you advise me on how to go about meditating properly and what goals, if any, I should keep in mind?
Yours in the Dharma,
Robert
July 24, 1978
Dear Robert,
Thank you for your letter. How are you? My reply is a little late because I have just finished Cambridge Zen Center’s yong maeng jong jin and we have just returned to the Providence Zen Center.
In your letter you say you want satori. If you want satori, satori is far, if you don’t want satori, you can see, you can hear, you can smell --- everything is satori. So put down “I want something.” If you keep I-my-me mind and try sitting Zen, you will not get satori for infinite time. If you make your I-my-me mind disappear, then you already have satori, OK?
In your letter, you also said that is noisy in your prison cell, so you have a problem when you meditate. If you mind is noisy, even if you go to a mountaintop, it is noisy. If your mind is not noisy, even you are in a busy factory, it is very quiet. How you keep your just-now mind is very important. You check inside, and you check outside --- checking, checking, checking --- so you have many questions. Put it all down. Then the whole universe is very quiet.
The Mahaparinirvana-sutra says, ”All formation are appearing and disappearing. That is the law of appearing and disappearing. When appearing and disappearing disappear, that stillness is bliss.”
You asked for the recommendations on how to advance your Zen training while in prison, and what goals to keep in mind. “I want to try something. I want something. I want to get something.” If you make this “I” disappear, then “I want to try something, I want something, and I want to get something” will all disappear: you are already complete. Where does this “I” come from? An eminent teacher said, “Without thinking, just-like-this is truth.” Descartes said, “I think; therefore, I am.” If you are not thinking, what?
Being in prison is sometimes very difficult. But if you make your opinion, your condition, and your situation disappear, then a difficult situation is OK; noise is OK; your mind will be unmoving. So, when you are doing something, you must do it! That is Zen.
I hope you only go straight --- don’t know, which is clear like space, make I-my-me disappear, attain enlightenment, and save all beings from suffering.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
*****************************************
ATTAIN NO-ATTAINMENT
May 23,1977
Dear Seon Sa Nim,
During the Cambridge yong maeng jong jin retreat this past weekend, I was reading books on Japanese Zen. They put great stress on enlightenment.
What is the place of enlightenment in our practice?
What is enlightenment?
Sincerely,
Judy
June 5, 1977
Dear Judy,
Thank you for your letter. How are you?
I hit you thirty times!
The Heart Sutra says there is no attainment, with nothing to attain. So you must attain no-attainment.
That’s all.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
*****************************
HOW DO I EXPLAIN ZEN PRACTICE TO OTHER PEOPLE?
Cambridge, Massachusetts
March 17, 1978
Dear Soen Sa Nim,
Thank you very much for you letter.
I’ve been having difficult explaining Zen and my practice to my family and friends, especially my parents. Most of them like the questions, “What is life? What is death? What is our correct job in life?” they say they asked these question themselves but feel that we can never know the answers. They say, “Only God knows.”
Another thing many people say to me is that it is impossible to save all people from suffering. They feel that life is suffering and that we cannot change that. Also, they cannot understand how sitting Zen or chanting or bowing can help other people. It seems self-centered and selfish to them always to be “thinking about yourself” and “doing nothing” in a Zen center away from other people. They feel that a person should be “out in the world” working with people who need help.
I would like to ask you what a good answer would be to these questions.
Thank you very much for your teaching.
Sincerely yours,
Steve
March 22, 1978
Dear Steve,
Thank you for your beautiful letter. How are you?
In your letter you asked about the questions of saving all people from suffering and what life and death are. These questions are very easy.
Your friend and family have ideas about many things; they hold onto these ideas but don’t understand that they are attached to them. Originally there is nothing. If you make something, you have something. If you don’t make anything, then already you are complete.
What is death? What is life? Our bodies have life and death, but our true self has no life and no death. They don’t understand their true self, so they have life and death. They say, “Only God knows.” But what is God? Do they know God? How do they know that only God knows?
If you wish to understand God, then you must first understand your true self. This is the first course.
How do you understand you true self? I ask you, What are you? Don you know? If you don’t know, only go straight --- don’t know. This don’t know mind cuts off all thinking, and your only-me situation, only-me condition opinion disappear. Then your correct situation, correct condition, and correct opinion appear -- it’s very simply! An eminent teacher said, “You should understand for yourself whether water is hot or cold.” Understanding your true self is not special.
Next course: if you are thinking, then your mind and my mind are different. If you cut off all thinking, then your mind, my mind, all people’s minds are the same.
An eminent teacher said, “One is many; many is one.” So if you cut off all thinking there is no I-my-me. Then you can keep your correct situation, correct condition and correct opinion from moment to moment. This is already world peace; you have already saved all people.
So first: how to you cut off all thinking? Already I asked, “What are you?” if you don’t know, only go straight --- don’t know.
Next: how do you keep don’t know mind from moment to moment? You must try, try, try. So every day at Zen center we bow, chant, sit, and work together. Sometimes we do yong maeng jong jin; sometimes we do a kido. These actions help us practice moment to moment: what are you doing now? If your mind is not clear, then simply do no hold your ideas; only don know. Slowly your desire-thinking your anger-thinking, your ignorance-thinking disappear, so your don’t know mind grows strong and becomes clear.
So when you sit, just sit. When you chant, just chant. When you bow, just bow. That is most important. If you practice this way, then when you teach other people, just teach. Only teach; only help them. Don’t worry whether or not they understand; only try. If you are trying 100 percent, then your teaching is complete and your mind-light will shine to them. Some day they will understand this.
So don’t worry --- just try. Trying is better than a Zen master, better than a Buddha, better than God. It is already great love, great compassion, and the great bodhisattva way. Don’t check your felling; don’t check your mind; don’t check your understanding; don’t check outside. Then there is no inside, no outside; no I, no you, no they: you are one with your situation. That is very important.
I hope you only go straight --- don’t know, keep a mind that is clear like space, try, try, try for ten thousand years nonstop, attain enlightenment, and save all beings from suffering.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
**************************************
FIND YOUR CENTER, LIKE A DHARMA TOY
Berkeley, California
October 21, 1977
Dear Soen Sa Nim,
I hope you are well. Thank you for the good kido. I got lots of energy from it. I have been doing the Kwan Seum Bosal mantra. I try to do it whenever I ‘m doing anything else with my mind. But still, there is a lot of small I, many thoughts. All this thinking makes me unhappy. So, when I went to see Diana, I said, “I am depressed.” So, for an hour, we did therapy. Then, at the end of the hour, Diana said, “Do more Kwan Seum Bosal, and come stay at the Zen center.” So, I am going to move into the Zen center as soon as I can find someone to sublet my place. I am sure this together-action will be very good for me.
Love,
Maggie
November 7, 1977
Dear Maggie,
Thank you for your letter. How are you and the Berkeley Empty Gate Zen Center family? I’m glad you liked the kido.
You say you are doing Kwan Seum Bosal whenever you are not doing anything else with your mind. This is not good, not bad. I ask you: where is your center? That is most important. If you don’t lost your center, then any action is no problem. Also, how strong is your center? I tell you, when you are doing something, do it. When you are doing something, 100 percent, this is your center; this is clear mind. But be very careful. If you keep your ideas, your condition, or your situation, you will lose your center to any action you are going.
I often talk about three kinds of minds we can experience: they can be called lost mind, one mind, and clear mind. Suppose a man and a woman are having sex. They have lost their minds and are very, very happy. Just then, a robber breaks in with a gun and say, “Give me your money!” All their happiness disappears, and they are very scared. “Oh, help me help!” This is small mind. It is constantly changing, as outside conditions change. We also call this lost mind.
Next, someone is doing mantra. His mind is not moving at all. There is no inside or outside, only true emptiness. The robber appears, “Give me money!” but this person is not afraid. Only “Om mani padme hum, om mani padme hum.” “Give me money, or I’ll kill you!” He doesn’t care. Already, there is no life and no death, so he is not afraid in the least. This is one mind.
Next is clear mind. A person keeping don’t know mind is walking down the street. The robber appears. “Give me your money!” This person tests his mind: “How much do you want? “Give me anything!” this robber is very strong; nothing will stop him. “OK,” the person replies, and he gives the robber all his money. He is not afraid, but his mind is very sad. He is thinking, “Why are you doing this? Now you are winning, but in the future, you will have much suffering.” The robber looks at him and sees that he is not afraid, and that there is only strong compassion on his face. So the robber is a little confused. This person is already teaching him the correct way, and maybe some day the thief will remember and be able to understand.
Keeping clear mind comes from having a strong center. In the Orient, there is a toy called a dharma toy, named after Bodhidharma. It’s a little figure with a rounded, weighted bottom that rocks when it is tapped. Even if you turn t completely upside down, it returns again to its correct position by itself, because the toy has a center. If you are keeping Kwan Seum Bosal strongly, then when someone talks to you, then you only talk. But when they leave, you can soon return to Kwan seum Bosal. If that time you hold something in your mind, you cannot return to Kwan Seum Bosal. So don’t hold anything. The names for that are clear mind, Kwan Seum Bosal, don’t-know, your center. So don’t worry. Only go straight --- Kwan Seum Bosal.
You re moving into the Berkeley Empty Gate Zen Center --- that’s wonderful news. Practicing and living with other Zen students is the number one way to help your center become strong.
I hope you only go straight --- Kwan Seum Bosal, find your Dharma center, get enlightenment, and save all beings from suffering.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
*************************************
WHAT ARE YOU?
Most Reverend Sir,
Thank you for your advice. Now I have put down your letter, put down your opinions, put down your situation.
I gave up trying 108,000 years ago.
Zen master Ma Tsu said that this line (____________) is either long or short. Like wise [sic] my words are either ignorant or enlightened
From moment to moment I discover my incongruous Self in every shadow, reflection, and echo, in dust, noise, and stuck in kong-an disguise. I am yours in neither doctrine nor no-doctrine.
Tony
[The Zen master’s reply was printed in large letters on the bottom of the original letter, and returned to the senders:]
WHAT ARE YOU?
TOMORROW YOU MAY DIE.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
S.S.
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YOU MUST LEARN FROM YOUR DAUGHTER
Ile Ife, Nigeria
October 5, 1977
Dear Keen-Eyed Venerable Teacher of Hard Training,
I take refuge in the Three Jewels of Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha.
Allow me to greet you from the land of ebon majesty.
In 1975 I was present at a Dharma talk you gave at the Arica Institute in Boston. Very recently, I obtained a copy of Dropping Ashes on the Buddha, and I have enjoyed reading it very much indeed. Also my one-year-old daughter Tara has very much enjoyed eating the cover. So my question to you now is, “How do you teach a one-year-old brown Tara not to eat the Buddha?”
It is very heavy rainy season now, and this morning on my drive to work, I saw the “Federal Public Enlightenment” vehicle parked by the side of the road, while the driver relieved in the bush.
An incense ash falls
Immense thunder.
No sky is bluer.
A golden rooster cannot
Stand on one leg
And chase butterflies
While a Dharma-cat
Pisses on the ape
Who drops ashes on the Buddha.
I hope you find the time to write to me.
Sincerely,
Harvey
November 6, 1977
Dear wonderful Dharma friend Harvey,
Thank you for your letter. How are you and your Buddha eating baby? You are very far away, but you are very close.
In you letter, you said you came to the Dharma talk at Arica Institute in 1975. That is wonderful. You made this good karma, so now you and I become very close.
You said that you read Dropping Ashes on the Buddha. That is very good. You also said that your daughter ate the cover, and you asked me how to teach a one-year-old brown Tara not to eat the Buddha. Your daughter is better than you because she can eat Buddha, but you cannot. Your daughter is stronger than Buddha, so she eats Buddha. Already she has graduated.
Eating Buddha means no Buddha. Long ago someone asked Zen Master Ma Jo, “What is Buddha?” He answered, “Mind is Buddha; Buddha is mind.” The next day, another person asked the same question and Ma Jo said, “No mind, no Buddha.” What is the true Buddha? If you eat Buddha, then Buddha has no name, no form, no both disappear. So you must learn from your daughter, and eat all the Buddha of the past, the present, and the future. You ask, “How can I teach my daughter?” that is a big mistake. You must learn from your daughter!
Dropping Ashes on the Buddha is all bad speech, so your daughter is teaching you, “Don’t read Dropping Ashes on the Buddha. That is the true way!” Your daughter understands my teaching. My teaching is only to put it all down. Only go straight --- don’t know. Maybe you are very attached to words, so your daughter ate Dropping Ashes on the Buddha. So Tara’s answer is very good. It is better than yours.
Your story about the “Federal Public Enlightenment” vehicle is very interesting. There are 84,000 kinds of enlightenment. But if you add the Federal Public Enlightenment, you get 84,001. Maybe you like this last enlightenment.
Your poem is wonderful. You say, “No sky is bluer.” These are very interesting words. I say, “No sky, no earth.” Then, how can you stay alive? Maybe you become bluer. Then you can live. Then, how can you become bluer? That is a very important point!
I hope you only go straight --- don’t know, eat all the Buddhas of the past, present, and future, attain enlightenment, and save all beings from suffering.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
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ZEN IS EVERYDAY MIND
Wiscasset, Maine
June 29, 1978
Dear Seon Sa Nim,
I’m on vacation, away from my writing, with my wife son. Yesterday, while at the beach, we noticed a man meditating. He was sitting in formal Zen-like posture, upright, by the edge of the sea, in the midst of the beach crowd. It first struck me as ostentatious to sit sp publicly. Then the sitter got up and walked without hesitation into the icy sea-water --- water that was so cold only a few of the others at the beach could get into it at all, and then only with great struggle. No one stayed in for more than a few seconds, except for the man who had been sitting. He remained there, floating about, for fifteen or twenty minutes.
My question is this: was that true emptiness --- being able to walk into the ice-cold water, apparently feeling nothing? That water was cold as far as I was concerned. But should I as a Zen student expect to attain something like that ability? Even though there is nothing to attain? What is true emptiness? Something special? Or the clarity of moment-to-moment practice?
Zen practice for me remains steady. Trying to keep clear all the time, failing, thinking, and sometimes not thinking. I still haven’t found the Zen penpoint that will help my writing. Perhaps I’m writing with it now, but I don’t know it yet, in my bones. So my search, and my not knowing, continue.
The April yong maeng jong jin at Cambridge with George Bowman was very fine. You were right. He is a wonderful teacher with much of your own simple, direct, no-bullshit style. I plan to attend the July yong maeng jong jin at Cambridge and will hope to see you then. Thank you very much for your earlier letter. It has helped me a lot.
I am still sitting. Why?
Katz!
Sunlight on the forest floor.
Gold stripe on a bed of pine needles.
Here is a beach poem for you:
Waves that talk for hours to the beach say nothing.
Wind that moves tree boughs back and forth does nothing.
Sunlight gilds world without a sound, and still the world is never silent.
In all this vast space, empty sea, sand, and sky for miles and miles.
Only I am confused,
walking the beach for hours,
foolishly searching,
looking for truth (or something),
missing, in front of me,
the shells, the sand,
the sound of waves.
Tom
July 6, 1978
Dear Tom,
Thank you very much for your letter. How are you and your family?
You had a vacation and went to the ocean with our family. That is wonderful. You said that on the beach, you saw a man sitting in a very formal meditation posture, and then he got up and went into the icy seawater, where he stayed for fifteen of more twenty minutes. Then you asked if it was true emptiness, and if a Zen student should expect to attain something like that ability. If inside you have I-my-me, this is called yeo hung shim, which means “hero mind.” In Buddhism, there is a difficult kind of practice called Tantra practice. People who do this try a lot of mantra practice and attain one mind. Then they break ice and go into the water for ten or twenty minutes or into a fire for ten or twenty minutes. Or, after they try mantra and attain one mind, they bathe in hot or boiling oil or sit on a bed of nails. These are all tests of perseverance-mind. When they master these practices, they can go on to the next higher class of Tantra. After they have finished all of these practices, they get magic powers. That is called Tantra practice. This is not Zen, OK?
Zen is clear mind, always clear mind. Clear mind means that everyday mind is truth. Cold water is cold; hot water is hot --- not special. If somebody thinks, “I want to experience difficult practicing,” that is not good or bad. But if they always keep a difficult practice, that is making something. If you make something, if you are attached to something, then that thing hinders you, and you cannot get complete freedom. Maybe you will get freedom from some things, but not perfectly complete freedom. Then what is perfectly complete? Don’t hold I-my-me. Then when you see, when you hear --- everything is perfectly complete. It is really not special.
Next, you said you cannot find your Zen penpoint. Not bad. If you find your penpoint, I will hit you thirty times. If you make Zen penpoint, then you already lost your penpoint. Don’t make Zen penpoint. Then you already have it, OK?
You did yong maeng jong jin with George. That is wonderful. George is a great teacher. Everybody likes him. You said you will do July yong maeng jong jin at Cambridge. That is also wonderful.
You also said,
I am still sitting. Why?
Katzt!
Sunlight on the forest floor. Gold stripes on bed of pine needles.
Not bad. But these words are only “like-this.” If you say, “I am still sitting,” this mean one point. “I” already has subject and object. If you had said “Buddha,” or “Mind” or “Dharma,” then your answer would have been wonderful; for this, only “like-this” is OK. But for a one-point question, a one-point answer is needed. What is the just-like-this point of “I am sitting”?
Your poem is wonderful. Here is a poem for you:
Originally nothing. But waves always talk to each other.
Originally emptiness. But the wind and trees are always wrestling.
Sunlight is without color. But all things make the colors they like.
Very, very quiet.
Somebody has eyes, so is confused.
If you have no eyes, then vast space, blue sea,
white sand, ten miles of no clouds, ten miles of clear sky.
The sun is setting in the West.
The shell’s shadow grow longer and longer.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
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FIND IT?
August 1978
Dear Seon Sa Nim,
You always say I already have it. I’ve looked everywhere. I can’t find it. Where is it? Tell me! Tell me!
Fondly,
Jim
August 7, 1978
Dear Jim,
I hit you thirty times! Go drink tea!
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
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2) QUESTIONS OF SUFFERING
THE HUMAN ROUTE
New York, New York
May 15,1978
Dear Seung Sahn Soen Sa,
I don’t think you will know me, because I have seen you only few times. I attended a kido with you last summer. However, I hope you will be able to give me some advice.
Last month my younger sister Pam died in a very strange and lonely way. The karma of my family is difficult and full of confusion and pain. Pam was paralyzed from the waist down for a year and half. She tried to kill herself jumping from a balcony and broke he spine in three places. I cry as I write. Though I was close to her before, I became much closer after that, going to Texas to visit her, talking with her, writing many letters. I loved her very much. She had very beautiful heart, very loving and seeking. Then last month she suddenly ran away in her car (she had a special car that she could drive). She drove up to northern Texas, called my mother twice, and then we didn’t hear from her for many days. She was finally found in the woods by the police. She had tried to get out of her car into her wheelchair, fell to the ground, dragged herself into the woods, built a fire and died there --- probably from exposure and starvation.
For myself, these last years have also been a struggle. I was in a mental hospital twice and past three years have been a journey back to a normal mind. It is so terribly sad to me because, just when I was beginning to be really strong for her, to be able to truly help her, she is gone --- and I think she had much pain and anger in her heart when she died.
I have her ashes now on my altar, and I feel strong energy from them. I guess I wish to ask you two things. First, what can I do for her now? I try to find her when I sit Zen. I think of her always --- it sometimes seems as if I feel her suffering --- and every night I chant, but this doesn’t seem enough. I want so badly to see her, though I know I can’t, to help her wherever she is, to reach her somehow and make sure she is not suffering.
Secondly, please tell me how to purify myself and my family when there are so many difficult things. I myself am such a beginner on the spiritual path --- part of the reason I went crazy was because I thought I was such a bad person. I know somewhat different now, but could you explain a little to me about karma with much suffering and unhappiness?
I will be deeply, deeply grateful to you for any words that you can send me. As I write this letter, the tears come from inside with my sorrow and my desire to bring love where there is so much pain.
Yours in Kanzeon,
Sheila
May 27, 1978
Dear Sheila,
Thank you for your letter. How are you? I read your letter and I am also very sad. I understand your mind; I understand your thoughts about your sister. I understand your lover for your sister. You and your sister have very strong karma, same karma. So when your sister dies your mind also dies.
But that is all feeling. If you are holding your feelings, you cannot help your sister. Also you cannot help yourself or your family. Let your feeling be! You must find your correct way; then your mind can shine to your sister and to your family. Then in the next life this sadness will not appear. But if you are only holding these sad feelings, in your next life this same sadness will appear.
Everything comes from a primary cause and leads to a result. An action in your past life gives you a result in this life. In this life you do not make this feeling disappear, then it will become a primary cause and in the next life there will be again be the same result. The name for this is samsara. Many people do not understand this, so they are attached to a result. Because of this, when they are very sad and cry, they suffer,
If you understand karma, you will not hold onto the result, so your mind will not be tight and suffering. Crying time, only cry. When that is finished, it is finished. You must keep a clear mind. Then you will make clear, correct karma.
So don’t hold onto your feelings, don’t make anything, don’t be attached to anything. Put it all down! Then your mind will become clear and your mind light will shine everywhere. That is called Dharma energy. Then your mind will shine to sister and the rest of your family. Then the primary cause will disappear and this suffering and sadness will not appear again.
THE HUMAN ROUTE
Coming empty-handed, going empty-handed --- that is human.
When you are born, where do you come from?
When you die, where do you go?
Life is like a floating cloud which appears.
Death is like a floating cloud which disappears.
The floating cloud itself originally does not exist.
Life and death, coming and going are also like this.
But there is one thing which always remains clear.
It is pure and clear, not dependent on life and death.
Then what is the one pure and clear thing?
You must attain this true self which is not dependent on life and death, which always remain clear and pure. Then you will see your sister’s original face and you will save yourself, your sister and your family.
If you don’t understand the one pure and clear thing, then only go straight --- don’t know. Let everything be! Only try, try, try for ten thousand years nonstop. This is very important.
You said that you were in a mental hospital. That is very difficult. Controlling your mind when you are alone and practicing alone may also be very difficult. The best thing is for you to go to a Zen center; practicing together with others is very important. When you are bowing together, sitting together, eating together, chanting together, and r together with other people, everybody helps you control your bad karma. Then it is easy to complete put down your opinion, your condition, and your situation.
Good and bad are your true teachers. But living by yourself, you don’t understand good and bad. You cannot see you bad karma. So your bad karma always controls you, and your problem is nonstop. If you want your bad karma to disappear, please come to a Zen center.
You want to know how to help your sister. I already told you, but if you ant to do something special, Buddhism has mantra for dead people; Ji Jang Bosal. Try repeating Ji Jang Boasal three thousand times a day for forty-nine days. Then your sister will be born again in a good body.
I hope you only go straight --- don’t know: don’t check your feeling, your mind, or your understanding, find true way and save your sister, your family, and all beings from suffering.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
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IN THIS WORLD EVERYBODY IS CRAZY
Berkeley, California
January 25, 1978
Dear Soen Sa Nim,
I have a question for you. I work every day with crazy kids who scream and yell obscenities and are very self-destructive. One girl even bites her own arm and makes it sore. One theory bout this illness s that these people are possessed by the spirit of dead person.
Is this correct? How can I help them?
I love you,
Marge
January 30, 1978
Dear Marge,
Thank you for your letter. How are you?
You spoke in your letter about crazy children and one crazy girl you work with. This girl is like a moth that flies into a flame, burns its body, and dies. In this world everyone is a little like this, so everyone is crazy.
One of my students works in a Jewish nursing home. A few days ago, a man set a fire there. When the police came, they asked the man why he set the fire. He said, “I don’t like this place.” The police checked their records and found that the man had set several fires, all at Jewish-owned stores. When they asked him why, he said, “don’t know why I don’t like Jewish people. I just set fires.” This is crazy.
Both the children you work with and this man are like moth --- they are strongly attached to something, so they do the same action over and over without knowing why. A mind that goes narrowly on one track like this is crazy. If a person’s mind is a little wider, it is not so crazy. Wider still, it is only a little crazy sometimes. If your mind is clear like space, then you are completely sane.
When people hold on to their thinking and follow their thinking, they are controlled by their habits so they do the same action over and over and they create their own suffering. If you hang on to your opinions, your condition, and your situation, you too are like a moth. If you cut through your opinions, your condition and your situation, then there is no life and no death.
How do you keep your correct situation from moment to moment? In others words, how do you help other people? If somebody is hungry, what do you do? If somebody hurts himself, what can you do? You already understand. Don’t check your feelings; don’t check your mind; don’t check anything --- only help people. If you cut off all thinking and keep this mind, “How can I help?” the correct action will appear. That is great love, great compassion, and great bodhisattva way. This is our original job. If you hold on to your opinion, your condition, and your situation, you create opposites --- “I” and “they” --- and then you cannot help other people.
If you don’t make anything and don’t hold onto anything, your mind is already the Absolute. There is no subject and no object. Inside and outside become one. Everything is true as it is. Then your everyday life is the truth, your moment-t-moment situation is correct, and already you have saved all being from suffering. If you keep this mind, you will know how to help the crazy girl and the other crazy children you work with.
So I hope you only go straight --- don’t know, and keep a great bodhisattva vow, get enlightenment, and save all being from suffering.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
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A THREE-YEAR RETREAT
New Haven, Connecticut
September 20, 1977
Dear Soen Sa Nim,
I am still in bed, and although I don’t have pain any more, I still have a problem with my leg. It’s numb from the knee down, so I think that I’ll have to do something besides only rest to fix my back problem. Do you know why someone would have an extra vertebra or different bone structure in each hip?
This time in bed has been like a retreat in many ways. For the first time in my life, I understand that I have no choice to make. People bring me food --- I can’t choose. I can’t do what I feel like doing. Every day just comes and goes. People come and go. Sometimes it’s warm, sometimes it’s cold. I just have to stay here and let everything occur just the way it does, and I must keep my mind clear. There is no choice; I cannot act out my karma. So this sickness is very strong teaching. I understand something I never did before: if you are dependent on anything, you make suffering. It’s funny, because I am dependent on everyone, but at the same time my mind is no dependent.
I hope you are well. Much love to you.
Yours in the Dharma,
Andrea
October 5, 1977
Dear Andrea,
How are you? Thank you for your letter.
In your letter, you said that you have no choice about any food or any action, and that you are dependent on everyone, but your mind is not dependent on anything, that is wonderful. This is correct Zen sickness: sick time, only sick. No choice, no checking, nor dependent, only sick. Then sick is not sick. This is high-class practice and a high-class education.
Do you know this story about Bu Sol Go Sa? He was a monk who wanted to do a three-year retreat with two monk friends. On the way to the mountains, he got married. A girl came running up to the three monks and cried, “If I don’t marry, I will kill myself.” So Bu Sol Go Sa did bodhisattva action and married her. His two friends said, “You are only filled with desire. This is not action of a bodhisattva but of a selfish man.” After many more accusing and angry words, the two monks went on their way.
Just after his marriage, Bu Sol Go Sa became very sick. Just like you, he could not move. His wife was very kind to him. She did everything for him --- washed his body, brought him food. Every day for three years he could only lie in bed and look at the ceiling.
The two monks finished their three-year retreat and were returning home. They thought about their Dharma friend. They decided to visit him, and when they reached his house, they found his wife sweeping the front yard. The two monks said, “Hello. How are you? Where is your husband?”
“My husband has been sick for three years. He is so sick that he cannot do anything.”
One monk whispered to the other, “This is his bad karma --- he broke the precepts and got married, so he got sick for three years.” But they wanted to see their Dharma friend, so they asked if they could visit him for a while. Although the wife was a little uncomfortable inside, she acted kindly and showed the monks into her husband’s room. They went in and started laughing. “So, you have been sick for three years. Not bad!”
When Bu Sol Go Sa saw them, he got up. “Oh, how are you? Thank you very much for visiting me.”
They we startled. “We heard that you have been sick for three years. How can you get up?”
He said, “Maybe I can get up because you did strong practicing for three years.”
Then they said, “Maybe. We worried about you every day.”
“I had so much bad karma that for three years I was sick. But you did hard training all the time. What was your practice? Please teach me. What did you get?”
The two monks said, “Oh, we read many sutras and the speech of many eminent teachers, so we understand all Buddha’s teachings.” For the next few hours, they told him what they had learned.
Finally, Bu Sol Go Sa said, “Yes, you understand Buddha’s speech very well. What is Buddha’s mind?”
“Buddha’s mind?”
“Yes, what is Buddha’s mind?”
“Do you know Buddha’s mind?”
“Well, I think if you have Buddha’s mind, anything is possible. So, we’ll try something.” Then he called his wife and asked her to help him.
She brought three long thin-necked bottles with wide bottoms, filled with water. Then Bu Sol Go Sa took three pieces of rope and tired one around the neck of each bottle, and he tied each of the other ends to a crossbeam in the living room. He brought a hammer and said to his friends. “Here is a hammer. If you hit a bottle with the hammer and no water spills out, then you have attained Buddha’s mind. Let’s try this.”
These monks were very proud. Not trying would look bad, but if they tried, they might fail. So they decided to try.
First, the monk who did strong mantra practice hit the bottle. All the water came splashing down. Then the sutra monk hit the bottle with the hammer, and again all the water splashed out.
Finally, it was Bu sol Go Sa’s turn. He did not use hammer. He only pointed to the bottle and shouted “katz” This katz was as loud as cannon blast. The two monks leapt up in surprise as the bottle shattered and feel to the floor, but the water only spun around and around and did not come down.
Then the monks fell to the ground, bowed to him, and said, “We are sorry! Please teach us!”
He smiled and said, “I cannot teach you. You already have everything. But you must find your true selves; then you can do anything.”
Then he took the bottle-shaped water and spilled it out the door.
This is the story of Bu Sol Go Sa.
When you are sick, only be sick. Then you will get everything, and you will be able to do anything.
You already said that this sickness is very strong teaching for you. That is wonderful. So I ask you: your sickness and Bu Sol Go Sa’s sickness --- are they the same or different? If you say the same, you can see the stars when your eyes are closed. If you say different, you are already in dark hell with no door. What can you do?
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
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A HOUSE ON FIRE
Berkeley, California
July 22, 1977
Dear Soen Sa Nim,
It is Friday afternoon and I have just seen three clients in a row in psychotherapy who feel totally “stuck.” All three have created their lives so they can see no way out of their situations. So much suffering! Since I have been studying Buddhism, I understand better the causes of that suffering - desire, anger, and ignorance --- but helping people to understand and do decide to do something about it is another matter. Hitting pillows and “getting out the feelings” are not enough. More Kwan Seum Bosals!
Ezra and I are thinking of you.
All our love,
Diana
July 26, 1977
Dear Diana,
You said that some clients visited you and that they were suffering very much. Buddha said that this world is like a house on fire. He said that it is an ocean of suffering. Let’s look at these words.
Many people get some things and don’t get others things. But getting and not getting are the same. If they don’t get something, they suffer; if they do get something, it will eventually disappear so they will suffer.
For example, suppose you had a dream last night and you are very attached to that dream, carrying it with you all though the day. When you were dreaming, you did not think the dream was good or bad --- you were just dreaming. But later, if you like the dream, you want to carry it with you and if you don’t like the dream, you want to forget it. But a dream is a dream. If you want to hold on to it or push it away, you have a problem; this is the appearance of likes and dislikes. Many people don’t understand that likes and dislikes are also a dream. A sleeping dream and everyday thinking are both dreams; they do not exist. If you understand this nonexistence, then you will understand that keeping is not necessary, and push away is not necessary. Put it all down!
Here is another example of suffering. Suppose there is a small jar full of candy. If you put your hand into the jar and grab a handful of candy, you cannot get your hand out. There will be much suffering: “Ahh --- I can’t get my hand out!” if you put down the mind that wants the candy, then you can get your hand out, and there is no suffering. You can’t get your hand out? Why? Who made this suffering? If you put down your desire and your thinking, then your hand will slip out easily. There’s no problem at all.
You said, “Hitting pillows and getting out the feelings’ are not enough.” You are right. These actions only changes feelings --- they do not help a person to understand karma, or cause and effect. You said “More Kwan Seum Bosal!” this is correct. Kwan Seum Bosal will make bad karma and disappear. Then if you put it all down, anything is possible. Many people want peace and happiness. Buddha said, “If you keep Bodhi mind moment to moment, you will get happiness everywhere.”
Great Bodhisattva action means acting with great love and great compassion. So when someone is suffering, you are suffering. How can you teach them? When someone is suffering a lot visits you, if you become one mind with them and speak about these things, this is great bodhisattva action; this is Kwan Seum Bosal.
I hope you always go straight --- Kwan Seum Bosal, and become Kwan Seu Bosal, soon finish the great work of life and death, and save all beings from suffering.
Yours in the Dharma,
S.S.
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